Know Someone’s
favorites.
Favorite flowers. 

Favorite authors.

Favorite designers. 

How she takes her coffee.

Shaken, not stirred.

Get the drift?

Everyone Has Secrets.
Some are sad.
Some are hilarious.

Some are scandalous.
Most are just mundane.

When you love someone
who loves you,

secrets
are not a problem.

MY FRIENDS,
Your Friends.
Respect for each other
means respect for
each other’s friends.
If this is a problem, it’s a real
problem. Attend to it.

Jealousy hurts.
On the surface jealousy
is simply a lack of trust.
And that is not a good sign.
But if it is justified,
this train is going nowhere.

Small Square Boxes Are Dangerous.
Every woman knows
there are only two kinds of rings:

the ring.
 And, all other rings.

An unwed man presenting
the latter had better prepare

a clever preamble or
look for cover.

Music Is magic.
Especially romantic music.

Especially live music.

Especially an original song

written just for someone.

Timing Is Everything.
When moods turn south,
blossoms do wonders.

When nights get cold,
firesides are cozy.

When work grinds down,
champagne bubbles up.

Light The Candles.
Use the good china. And crystal.

When you are together,
put style in your life.

This is part of
living well,
together.

This is romance.

Ask The Father Of The Bride.
Once upon a time,
THE RITUAL
of asking a father’s permission
for the hand of his daughter
was an essential tradition
fraught with danger. 
It still is today.

The modern young man
who ignores this
wonderful piece of etiquette
displays an alarming
 lack of civility.

Be True To Yourself.
In the heady rush of true love, 
it’s easy to compromise
your real opinions in the name of
romantic tranquility.

This is a mistake.
Be yourself.
In the end it’s better.

“Thanks ever so, darling, but
I don’t much care for calf brains.”

Open New Doors Together.
Don’t sit back. Step out.

The adventures
you share build bonds

that last forever.

New adventures entail
some risk, and
risk can be quite intoxicating.

Talk About Money.
About saving.
Debt. Past behavior.

Expectations,
confrontations and tribulations.
Put it all on the table now

so it won’t be a nuisance later.

POLITICS
Is Not A
Deal Breaker.

Unless you
make it one.

Families Are Different.
Suddenly families start to
matter the closer you get
to an engagement and
wedding. Fortunately,
families don’t get married.
Only two people IN LOVE
can marry. In dealing with
another’s family a little
accommodation, humor and
affection goes a long way.

Say
Au Revoir
to Old Flames.
Period.

Play together
And Apart.
Sports played together
can be great fun.

But don’t ask him to abandon
his golf with the guys.

Don’t ask her to desert
her tennis pals.

Tastes
Are Supposed To Differ.
That’s part
of the electricity.
That’s part
of an exciting life.
You say tomato,
I say to-mah-to.

Pay Attention To
CLOTHES.
Not your clothes, silly.
Someone in love dresses very
carefully. And it’s a
very good idea to take notice.
The choices made
were made to please you.

Surprises Are Essential.
An unscheduled
night of dancing.
Suddenly, tickets to Paris.
A hidden gift.
Surprises lift romance to
stratospheric heights.

How To Handle
good news.
The quickest way
to lose good friends

is to let someone else tell them
that you are engaged.

Tip: make a list and
call them all
within the same hour.

And don’t forget relatives.

Birthdays Are Trouble.
Not the present. 
The date.

If you don’t know
her birthday

you don’t know her.

And now you’re in big
trouble, buster.

Let’s NOT COMPARE.
No matter how innocent
your remarks may be,
it is always troubling
to mention former lovers.
“John and I used to go to the
Met every Saturday morning.”
Not good form.

A PDA Suggestion.
At parties and events, 
some couples in love
may be found desperately
clinging to each other as
though their ship
has just been torpedoed.
They need to know that this
behavior is off-putting.

Who on earth wishes to talk
to a couple who is saying
goodbye
to the world?

Don’t Answer The Phone.
During DINNER.
Nobody has permission
to interrupt conversations
and destroy the ambience
of this end-of-day ritual.

Buttons Not To Push.
As the saying goes, 
when you really
KNOW SOMEONE
well, you know the buttons
to push to really make them
irritated and upset. 
How wise you would be
not to push the buttons
of someone you love and
who loves you.

Out Of Sight,
But Not Out Of Mind.
When alone and
out of town on business,
how wonderful is it
to find flowers waiting for you
in your hotel room?
Unforgettable,
actually.

Bring Back The Love Letter.
Make no mistake about it:

there is nothing quite
so tender and romantic

as receiving a
love letter.

Yes, handwritten
on nice stationery

and delivered just to you.

A TRIBAL TABOO.
You are, of course, 
perfectly entitled to say what
you wish about your family.
But, it needs to be restated
here that the love of
your life is not entitled
to express his or her opinion
quite so frankly.
As the proverb states
so succinctly, “blood is thicker
than water.” In the vernacular,
please don’t go there.

Ah, The Ring.
A diamond engagement ring
is the traditional symbol of true love
and lifetime commitment.

It matters not a smidgen
how large the diamond is.

What does matter, however,
are the aesthetic qualities

that always make your ring
a joy to behold.

Remember, over a lifetime

a woman looks at her ring
a million times.

See THE FOREST
For The Trees.
Try not to dwell on
miniscule details and silly
differences of opinion.
He can like Deco and you can
like Nouveau and still
be madly in love.
In the grand picture it
matters not.

Keep Your mystery.
It’s really not necessary

to keep all the cosmetic bottles 
out on the sink in full view.

As a magician might say,

no peeking behind the curtain.

The Victorians Did It.
They read aloud to
each other.
Often for a lifetime.
Novels, stories, articles.
This is a wonderful
way to SHARE
SOMETHING
you enjoy. And by the way,
it can be very romantic.

Compromise Is An Art.
Managed gracefully
without resentment,
it is the magic behind
true love.

Walk together.
For centuries walking was
at the center of courtship.

It still is, but without vigilant
chaperones close behind.

On a walk silence is permitted.

On a walk difficult subjects
can be broached. On a walk,
hand-in-hand,
two hearts can be one.

Cook together.
And clean up
together.

Every Now And Then.
Dress to the nines. 
SEND A NOTE
of mad love.
Do a headstand.
Go off the grid. Why not?

KEEP LISTENING.
We all have a tendency
to listen more carefully to
people we’ve just met. 
This is unfortunate.
Keep listening and you’ll avoid
countless misunderstandings.
In the process,
you will learn something.
And, deepen your love.

The Unexamined Life
Is Not Worth Living.
That’s what Socrates thought
a few thousand years ago.

And he makes a big point today
for couples in love.

Only when you
know yourself
can you truly love another.

You’ll Never Forget.
Never will you forget
THE MOMENT
of proposal.

Exactly where you were.

What you were wearing. 
How you felt.

This is arguably the most profound
moment in one’s life.

And it deserves dignity,
maturity and seriousness of
purpose. And when it is done,
then together,
jump over the moon.